How Nappa Lost His Hair
by The Alien from Uranus
Summary: Exactly what the title says: How Nappa lost his hair.


Disclaimer: I just want to let y'all know that I don't own (in part or full) Dragon Ball Z. Funimation, Akira Toriyama, and other important people that I can't think of right now do.

**How Nappa Lost His Hair**

It was a wonderful, happy day on the Planet Vegeta. The birds were singing, the sun was shining, and little deer frolicked merrily through the forest. Heh, yeah **right!**

It was another hectic day on Planet Vegeta. People were whining, clouds loomed overhead, and Nappa, the unsuspecting numbskull, was about to really piss off Prince Vegeta.

Vegeta was sitting on his throne, perfectly poised and very bored, so he decided to go look in the mirror for about the fiftieth time to check his hair. It turned out there was an unruly spike out of place, so he ordered his right hand man, Nappa, to go "fetch the hair gel" so he could fix it.

Nappa went to the royal hair gel closet (every Saiya-jin prince has one) to get one of the many little bottles contained within. However, there happened to be only one bottle left that day. Not thinking much of it, Nappa grabbed it and left to go deliver it to his prince, but he encountered a little problem along the way. He didn't notice that lump in the carpet until it was too late, so he tripped and fell, and the bottle flew out of his hands. It landed on the windowsill, teetering an inch from certain doom, while down below, the cold, hard ground lay waiting to crush it.

Then, Vegeta called from his throne room, "Nappa, where's my hair gel?"

"Uh… coming, Sire!"

Nappa scrambled to the window and clumsily grabbed at the hair gel container. Of course, the tricky little bottle slipped from his grip and fell miles to the ground—or so it seemed to Nappa.

"Uh oh… Prince Vegeta's not gonna be too happy about this…"

He leaned out of the window to see if he could spot the hair gel, but all he could see was the bushes and grass on the ground below. Tired of waiting, Vegeta entered the room to see why Nappa was taking so long. He noticed his anxious minion leaning through the window with his behind in the air, looking down at something on the ground.

"Nappa, what do you think you're doing?" the Saiya-jin Prince barked angrily.

"I just… um, well you see… I, uh…"

"Spit it out already!"

"I sort of… dropped your hair gel… out the window."

"Well go _down there_ and find it, you imbecile!" With that, he kicked Nappa in the ass, sending him plummeting face-first into the ground.

The burly Sai-jin landed with a heavy thud into the firm dirt "Ow… can't feel nose…" and lifted himself up to look around for the fallen hair gel.

"Aha! There it is!"

Grateful that he had found it, he pulled the tiny container from inside a bush to find that it was—

"Cracked—and empty! Vegeta's gonna kill me!"

He debated on whether or not he should go back inside to face the already irritated prince.

"Okay… I could either 1) run away—far, _far_ away—and have him eventually hunt me down and slowly rip out my insides, 2) try to find a cheap replacement hair gel… and have him find out later and kill me anyway, or 3) go inside and face the consequences. Then, have him find a way to torment me... _then_ kill me. I guess I'll go with three. If I'm going to die, I shouldn't be a coward about it. There's no sense in delaying the inevitable."

Minutes later, Vegeta greeted Nappa at the top of the stairs leading to his throne room with a tongue-lashing that went something like this:

"Why you incompetent, low-life, good-for-nothing oaf!"

"I'm sorry, Your Highness!"

"Sorry… You're _sorry_? Sorry doesn't get my hair gel back!"

"Please, I beg of you! Forgive me for my stupidity!" Nappa bowed down submissively and kissed the Prince's feet.

"Get your filthy lips off my new boots!" Vegeta sneered.

"I'm sorry, Sire!"

"Would you stop that idiotic whining?" the Prince growled, "You sound like a baby. Stand up and take your punishment!"

Nappa did so, dreading what was soon to come.

"Now march—into the bathroom with you!"

Nappa scurried off as fast as he could, with Vegeta following at his heels. '_He will _pay_ for the loss of my hair gel,'_ Vegeta thought with a scowl.

Nappa stood whimpering in front of the bathroom mirror, while Vegeta smirked evilly and searched for an electric razor. After searching nearly all of the cabinets, Vegeta finally found one, and proclaimed vengefully, "Now you will pay for you incompetence!" He flicked it on and _slowly _shaved off all of Nappa's hair, beginning at the back and working his way forward. Once he was done, Vegeta slammed the razor on the floor and stomped back into his throne room.

Nappa ran a trembling hand over his new smooth, bald head. '_Baldness… utter baldness! And it won't grow back either!'_ He pouted, imagining his future life without hair.

"Well, I suppose it's better than dying… I think…"


End file.
